|Womens' Writes (Karen's Letters)||Ladylike Help 10a|
Here's a question from Karen (and brief answer that may help you).
April 27, 2003 1:59 PM
I have a boyfriend that is a cd and I think he is wonderful. He was married before and waited 5 years to tell her and she didn't accept it. She wouldn't let him dress in front of her and just belittled him so much. When I think of the pain and humiliation she must have caused him to feel because of her attitude I get angry. She accused him of the usual, being gay, cheating, all of that. I just don't understand her or any other woman's attitude who won't accept; if you love someone with all your heart you should be loving them unconditionally, at least that's what I believe.
My boyfriend started wearing my satin panties occasionally when we would be intimate, and then he wore them to work a couple of times. We work together, and the thought of "our secret" was very exciting to me, it was something very personal that we shared. He told me about 8 months into our relationship, he said he had something to show me. He handed me a stack of about 12 pictures of him dressed in different outfits. He loves skirts, and let me tell you he has great legs, I wish mine looked that good. He told me just before Valentine's Day, it was perfect, because I got him a bra as part of his Valentine's gift, our very first together as a couple; and you should have seen the surprise on his face. The surprise that I would buy him something feminine, and the surprise of my acceptance. He told me that I'd never know what that meant to him, that I would buy him an article of feminine clothing.
I accept it because:
1: I love him with all my heart;
2: I believe that it makes him a more complete person;
3. He actually likes going shopping with me;
4. He has helped me bring out the more feminine side of me.
I believe he is more complete because he can see things from both sides, and it's like having a boyfriend and girlfriend all in one. The fact that I accepted him has made us so much closer. He is great to shop wit;, before if I needed a bra or panties I would just go and grab something, now I take the time to look and I have more care with my appearance. I had always been a tomboy and it didn't really matter, now I wear satin panties and bras and lingerie all the time.
I feel that if a crossdresser is accepted by the woman he loves, than she could have a very loyal husband/boyfriend for the rest of her life. I think one reason he would be more loyal is because not a lot of women would accept him, so when he finds one that does, he appreciates her more. His love of woman, and her feminity in general makes him appreciate any woman more; it's too bad more wifes and girlfriends don't realize this.
One thing I have never been able to understand is why is it acceptable for a woman to put on jeans and sweatshirt and a baseball cap and go out into public, but if a man wears a skirt he's laughed at? Well I know I can't solve the world's problems but it's too bad some things have to be the way they are.
In closing I'm sorry I got a little long winded, but I have no one to talk to on the subject, no one knows and it is not my place to tell anyone. I can't tell anyone how wonderful and romantic and fun it can be to have a crossdressing significant other, so I'll tell you because you understand.
Thank you for your website, I'm glad
I found it.
04 May 2003 23:19
What a lovely letter. Your point in particular about successfully securing his loyalty, is so true. I sincerely hope that your boyfriend will always love you as much as you love him, because you really deserve it.
Would you mind if I reproduced your email below on my website, to help other women?
Best Wishes from Chloe Springfield
14 May 2003 12:07 AM
I wouldn't mind at all it you put the
letter on your site. If it will help someone else that would be great.
I showed it to my boyfriend and he liked what I said. I admit I was a little worried about what he would think.
If the letter will help people or give anyone encouragement I will be happy.
I am in the process of joining the Ladylike membership. Thank you again for providing an outlet for women who can't share this secret. It is not my place to tell anyone (family & friends), but it is still nice to be able to talk to understanding people.
May 2003 21:31
I'm glad your boyfriend liked what you said, so you were right to show him. If I've been able to help in any way then it was worth it, because for every woman who has rightly shared her secret with another in this way, there are a dozen who aren't sure how to!
Best Wishes from Chloe
"LADYLIKE" - Help for Women with Crossdressing Partners:
16 May 2003 11:23 AM
I still don't understand why it is
so unacceptable in today's society when years ago men wore skirts all the
time. Big, strong men wore skirts into
battle, they weren't considered less of a man then. I guess I might
be overprotective of him for a while until he is more comfortable. The
time we go out in public somewhere is going to be hard on both of us,
for different reasons of course. When we go out now he sometimes wears
a bra and pantyhose. He is so self-conscious, he kept asking if I could
see the bra. I had to keep telling him to relax and that the funnier
he acted about it the more people would look at him. I think that it's
still a little bit hard for him to believe yet that someone, in his
life, actually accepts him.
Thank you again for being here. Your being here helps me because I need someone to talk to. It also helps knowing that people here accept my boyfriend.
18 May 2003 12:52
Yes, that's all quite true. Things are gradually changing though, and people are realising that clothes merely say who we are as people. Men shouldn't always have to hide behind a uniform.
I think many men get themselves unbelievably wound up about a small thing like wearing a bra under clothes, imagining everyone's looking, etc. Then of course it may stress you out too, because worry passes from partner to partner. Conversely, because you are protective of him, it will help him to feel relaxed, and his positive feelings will reflect right back to you again.
I'm sure you're right too that he can't yet quite believe he's found you. That's very sweet and certainly good news!
|<< Ladylike Home||More letters >>|
**Please** donate £5 by credit or debit card, to help Chloe's unpaid voluntary counselling work with crossdressers and their partners (secure transaction):